The Power of Maturity to Endure

PETER W. TEAGUE

A recent two-day teaching assignment took me and my wife, Paulette, to the Midwest state where I was raised. We extended our trip an extra day to attend a family wedding. On a beautiful fall afternoon outside on the family farm, the bride and groom were radiant as family and friends enjoyed every moment of this joyous occasion.

As I observed this young couple, I thought of all they will endure in the years ahead—sickness and health, times of plenty, times of want, times to rejoice and times to weep. For some reason, my mind flashed back to one of my mother’s favorite stories that she told many times to my three sisters and me as we were growing up. A literary enthusiast and ever the romantic who loved weddings, she told us this version of a true story to illustrate the power of maturity to endure.

In the mid-18th century, there lived a Jewish German philosopher named Moses Mendelssohn. He was a brilliant scholar who had a misshapen figure characterized by a hunched back. In 1767 Mendelssohn visited Hamburg where he met a businessman named Guggenheim, who had a beautiful daughter named Fromet.

Mendelssohn fell in love with Fromet and before leaving Hamburg, he asked Guggenheim for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Guggenheim sadly replied that even though he knew Mendelssohn was a wise and good man, his daughter was frightened by his appearance and would not have him.

Mendelssohn showed no surprise but asked only for one more opportunity of speaking with Fromet. When he saw her, he asked her if she believed that marriages are made in heaven, and she answered yes.

“Let me tell you a story,” he said. “According to a Talmudic saying, a proclamation of the name of the person I will marry was made in heaven when I was born. Not only was my future wife named, but it was also said that she would be hunchbacked. ‘Oh, no,’ I said to myself, ‘she will be deformed, bitter and unhappy. Dear Lord,’ I said again, ‘give me the hump instead and make her fair and beautiful.’” Fromet Gugenheim was so moved by his story that she dried her tears and they married. The two lived happily together and had ten children, six of whom survived into adulthood.1

A less mature man might have stomped off in indignation at being rejected. A less mature woman might have been unable to look past the outward appearance. Their story demonstrates the power of maturity to endure and get beneath the surface to discover the true substance of a person.

According to Tim Elmore, founder of “Growing Leaders,” a non-profit organization working with emerging leaders, the marks of maturity include the ability to keep long-term commitments, being unshaken by flattery or criticism, possessing a spirit of humility, basing decisions on character not feeling, expressing gratitude, and prioritizing others before self.2 

Forty-seven years ago when I took my wedding vows, little did I realize what my bride and I would face in the years ahead. Thankfully, we were generously surrounded and influenced by parents, family members, pastors, teachers, and friends who taught and demonstrated the marks of maturity. They showed us what it takes to overcome difficulties with determined faith in God and steadfast commitment to Him and His Church.

Now as a member of the older generation, I realize my responsibility to influence the younger generation in the direction of maturity. I can do this by demonstrating the marks of maturity in my own life, speaking the truth with respect, and by loving others genuinely. Not only does this apply in relation to the next generation, it applies to all areas of life and in all dealings with each person I encounter.

Maturity has little to do with age, but everything to do with how we relate to others and respond in varying circumstances of life. In the happy moments of life may we thank God, in the difficult moments seek God, in the quiet moments trust God and in every moment praise God.

_________

 1 Tuck, Lily. “Great Aunt Dorothea Mendelssohn.” The Yale Review. 2020.

 2 Elmore, Tim. “The Marks of Maturity.” Psychology Today. Nov. 14, 2012.

Peter W. Teague is President Emeritus at Lancaster Bible College in Pennsylvania.